I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t tend to make New Year’s resolutions anymore. Before I had kids, I had yearly goals that included things like: read two books a month, get in 7-8+ hours of sleep a night, run five half marathons, travel to two different countries, have a homemade dinner every week night, etc. And these were ALL my resolutions — meaning I planned to meet all of them in one year. These days, I fall asleep reading in bed (sorry, book club friends), and can’t imagine getting seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. That’s normal, right? But, instead of giving up on resolutions this year, I decided to bring them back. These are things that I’m going to make an effort to do this year and can hopefully be achieved whether or not I get three hours of sleep or seven.
Make Time for Me
Since baby #2 was born, making time for myself has gotten harder. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t have any me time. After all, what’s the saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup? I’m going to make an effort this year to make sure I have time for myself. Yes, this may mean waking up early to run a few miles before the kids wake up, but I know that this will make me feel better and be the best way to clear my head before the crazy days begin.
Stop Comparing Myself
I am guilty of comparing myself not only to others, but also to my pre-kid self. And it doesn’t do anyone any good! So what if my recent race pace was my “easy” run pace before kids? I’m still going out for runs and finding my me time (see above). And does my two-year-old son notice that I’m not sending him to school on his birthday with a Pinterest-worthy goody bag to share like the other kids? Not likely. I’m the only one who cares and I need to remind myself that I am doing enough.
Be a Better Friend
To my friends without kids: first, I am sorry that I have not been in touch as much. Gone are the days where I used to casually stay out late on weekends, go to an impromptu happy hour after work, etc. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t still be a friend. I need to take more time to foster these relationships — whether that’s drafting an email to a friend I haven’t spoken to when I’m up at 2 a.m. feeding my 7 month old, sending a surprise birthday card in the mail, or spending some planned time out without the kids, I’m going to make an effort to let my friends know that I’m still here and I still care.
I am a people pleaser. I hate saying no when asked to do something – whether at work, the kids’ school, around the house, etc. But sometimes, saying no will make me feel better in the long run. And if saying no means I have more time for me, then I’m checking off two resolutions at the same time.
Say Yes to my Kids
“Can I eat dinner on the carpet?” “Can we watch a movie?” “Can we read another book?” “Can you carry me?” These are things that I answer no to my toddler on a regular basis. And while sometimes they deserve a no, there are times that I should just say yes. These days are fleeting and I need to remember that in just a few years he won’t be asking me to carry him or read him yet another bedtime story, so I should say yes while I can.
Do you make resolutions? Have your resolutions changed since becoming a parent?