It’s a New Year, so I guess it’s time to look at New Year’s Resolutions. Before I get ahead of myself, I honestly couldn’t remember the resolutions I made for 2016! I blogged about my big three resolutions in January 2016, so it’s easy to reference what I hoped to achieve last year. Did I keep my resolutions last year? I say yes!
My 2016 Resolutions
Be more like Amy Schumer: she is fearless and doesn’t apologize for being who she is. As I get older, I just don’t have time to worry about what others think and I realize I need to go for what I want in life and what makes me happy. No apologies necessary.
Listen to my gut more often: Without fail, my gut is always 100% right. I can trust what my gut is telling me because I always have a good end result. This is a combination of classical conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs) and positive reinforcement (for all my psychology nerds out there)! This is very true of my positive parenting style, too. I know the decisions and choices I make for my kids are right, despite the comments and opinions of others. No, my children are not signed up for a million activities and my daughter is not attending preschool right now; she’s home with the nanny. My gut leads always points me to my personal happiness.
Live my life free of excuses: I don’t need to give a lame/made up reason to explain my choices and decisions. The only reason I do something is because I WANT TO. So now I politely say, “I’m sorry. Unfortunately I will not be able to _________ [fill in the blank with any of the following: attend, participate, do whatever is being asked of me].” I think people give a reason to help them feel less guilty about not meeting someone else’s expectations. I’m no longer playing the game of “What can I tell them to make it sound legit about why I can’t do X?” I’m being honest and forthright and it feels much better than lying to spare potentially hurt feelings.
My 3 Step Guide to Making and Keeping New Year’s Resolutions for 2017
Think about something that’s been bugging you. For example, last year I was annoyed with feeling like making excuses. It felt like a waste of mind power and energy.
Decide how you would like to feel/live instead. I did not want to feel like I need to make excuses when the truth was simple. I just didn’t want to do [fill in the blank].
Craft a resolution connecting the annoying feeling to how you want to live your life. “I don’t want to feel annoyed about wasting energy on making excuses; I resolve to live my life free of excuses!”
Live your resolution. Any time I felt the discomfort of declining something and the urge to create a bogus excuse I simply state, “Unfortunately, I am not able to do [fill in the blank].” And left it at that! No more cockamamie excuses for me!
My 3 New Year Resolutions for 2017
Be OK with declining invitations. It’s nice to be wanted, but I’m an introvert and I like to stay home with my hubby and kids (let’s be real, I love binge watching reality TV, too). It takes A LOT for me to be motivated to be extroverted unless it’s with people I love hanging out with.
Focus my mental energy and efforts only on things bringing me joy. This comes down to walking away from situations where I feel like my efforts are not reciprocated. If someone is not willing to put in the same time and energy as me, I will feel OK distancing myself from the situation.
Read more books with my twins. Super basic, but I find myself slacking when it comes to reading before bedtime. My older daughter is showered with story after story, but the Herculean effort it often takes to get my two little ones ready for bed leaves me too drained to consider reading a book. It’s not fair to them and it makes me feel crappy (I’m depriving my children of the written word and I know how important reading is for language development and general success in life!). I’m going to read more books with them.
Resolutions I Will NOT Make
I will not decide I am going to lose weight because it feels cliché and it does not help me live my best life anyway. Instead I’ll focus on feeling healthier which means I make better choices (this translates to eating fruit instead of cookies for dessert) ultimately lowering my cholesterol (Oh LDL, why are you so high?!). The bonus is this will give me more energy to run around with my kiddos and I actually do feel better when I eat better.
I will not say I am going to be a better parent or wife because what does this really mean anyway? I could say I want to be more present for my family. Still, I am going to quantify and qualify by saying, I’ll make sure my hubby and I have a date night each month. Or I’ll meditate for 5 minutes each morning because I know it makes me a calmer (ahem better) parent.
What’s been bugging you? What will your resolutions be this year?
Come January 2018, I hope to report I have been hanging out with people I love, don’t waste energy on silly things and my kids are well-read. Happy New Year!