Don’t resolve to be a better parent in 2026.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to improve. We all should. Unless, of course, you’ve perfected parenting. If you have, could you please write these columns instead of me? Because I am (decidedly) imperfect.
I’m specifically suggesting that you forgo making a New Year’s Resolution to be a better parent this year.
Because “Be a better parent” is the exact sort of wishy-washy resolution that melts away by the end of January.
Here are three reasons it’s irresolvable:
1. “Be a better parent” lacks a measurable output. It’s — as the kids say — all vibes.
If you want to give yourself a parenting goal, make it something that you can measure. For example, you can resolve to “dedicate an hour each week to a family activity that everyone participates in.”
This is the difference between wanting to “be healthier” and “run five miles every week.” The best goals come with numbers, and there’s no unit to measure “good parenting.” (However, if there was, it should be called the Bandit.)
2. How do you keep yourself accountable if your resolution is to be a better parent?
Good goals — and, yes, I’m deliberately talking about “goals” instead of resolutions — involve accountability. And that’s why numbers are so valuable.
I can step on a scale and see if I’m any closer to losing 10 pounds. But I can rationalize why eating out every day is still healthy if I swap in broccoli for French fries.
There’s another way to keep yourself accountable. Wrap in a buddy. If you’re trying to work out more, that buddy would be your ideal gym partner.
Since we’re specifically talking about parenting, you might already be married or dating your goal buddy. However, if you’re a single parent, we all know it takes a village to raise any child. Pick your favorite/most responsible villager and tell them your measurable parenting goal. Then ask them to check in about it occasionally.
Your kid can also be your accountabilibuddy.
3. Big, sweeping changes rarely stick.
Sure, you can probably think of counterexamples. Maybe you or a loved one had a “Road to Damascus” moment, and your/their life was forever changed.
But even during conversion events, that “forever” rarely lasts as long as you think. Over time, big changes tend to erode and our habits regress to their average.
But if big changes often end up temporary, what works?
The key word — which I sneaked in above — is habits. The little changes we make over time can make a big difference.
For example, “be a millionaire” meets my first two qualifications for a good goal. It’s measurable and you can hold yourself accountable. Of course, it’s really difficult to make a million dollars. (At least, it is for me.)
However, if you set aside a portion of your paycheck each month in an investment account that you never touch for 30 years, then you can retire as a millionaire. It’s less exciting than winning the lottery, but small changes add up over time.
So what’s the parenting equivalent of that?
If you find yourself drifting away from your kids as they get older (or any loved one really,) dedicate time to them.
Find an activity you both like and do that together each week.
Go jogging. Create a family art project. Cook dinner together. Form a family book club (and let the kids pick the books!) Set aside a manageable amount of time, stick to it, and keep each other accountable if you find yourselves slipping.
Just going by the statistics, 2026 isn’t going to be the year you give up doomscrolling, start meditating, and stop crying in the shower.
But it can be the year that you dedicate an hour every Thursday (or whatever day works for you) doing something you love with the people you love.
And that’s always a worthwhile goal.
