Open Door vs. Empty Nest…The Struggle is Real (AKA “taking flight and/or the year I said goodbye to my daughter’s childhood”)

Open Door vs. Empty Nest…The Struggle is Real (AKA “taking flight and/or the year I said goodbye to my daughter’s childhood”)

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Last May, I stood on stage and had the honor of presenting my child with her high school diploma. My one and only. My pride and joy.

That August, I drove to Athens and left part of my heart there. In the following days, weeks, and now months, people look at me, head tilted, and ask, “How are you?” And truthfully, I didn’t know. I just kept showing up. I keep showing up for work, to try new things, to exercising, etc. Anytime I encounter someone I have not seen in a while, the head tilts again and the question returns: “How are you?” “How is it being an empty nester?” That question actually sparks some anger. I know it comes with care, but the struggle is real.

Meanwhile, others offer kind advice about the “open door.” Haven’t you heard? The open door is the opportunity for both you and your child to write a new chapter. I don’t know what to put on the first page of my new chapter. I’ve spent countless hours sitting on my yoga mat—fondly referred to as my “thinking mat”—pondering this question. What is that next chapter?

I’m growing older, but certainly don’t feel wiser. I’ve considered undoing everything I’ve done in order to write a new story, but then I’m reminded that life should be curated and not blown up. I look at my blessings and hold on tight, but I long for more.

And I return to the question: what is the next chapter? So, as the ball dropped and champagne glasses clanked, I found myself turning the page to a new year…maybe a new chapter…or maybe just finding balance in a new space and time. To all those living in this same tension, may you find grace and patience, add texture to your life, and hold on to the precious time that was and the new beginnings that are possible. Happy New Year.

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About the author

Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
Mom, non-profit professional, arts advocate, writer, coffee consumer and wannabe adventurer. Life is busy and complicated. Simplicity Soup shares recipes for lessons learned — as a parent, professional and personally. It focuses on the good and good for you (and the family). Simplicity Soup is about the ingredients in our daily lives that make living more joyful. From tackling time clutter, the list of to-dos and want-to-dos, to how to organize spaces and places to make for more efficiency and less challenge. Create time for more joy. Savor the soup. Connect with Jeannie at [email protected]

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