Helping Children Cope with New Fears and Worries

The family routine has changed since we all learned of COVID-19, and months later many workplaces, schools, parks, museums and other public gathering spaces remain closed.

Many children struggle when there are significant changes in their routines. Currently, there are school and child care closures, social distancing, home confinement and other changes that may interfere with their sense of structure, predictability and security. Furthermore, most children are in-tune with their caregivers and often will react to any stress and concern their caregivers feel. 

Ohio Governor Mike Dewine extended the state’s stay at home order until May 31. The world opening back up, going out in public, and interacting with others may bring up new fears and worries in our children. Consequently, anxiety-driven behaviors that may never have presented themselves in your children before may begin to appear now. It is essential to notice these behaviors so that you can help your child cope with their fears appropriately.

Anxiety in Children

Our brain is designed to feel worried and anxious sometimes. It is our natural response to unfamiliar or new situations. 

“Fears and worries are typical in children and are often a healthy response to uncertainty and potential danger; they are a normal part of child development,” says Jennifer Baker, Crossroad Health’s supervisor of early childhood services. “Children will have varied responses to events, experiences and people depending on their own lived experiences. Some situations may be approached with excitement; others fear and worry.

“Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with a child’s daily functioning,” she adds. “If the level of anxiety makes it difficult for your child to get to school each day, focus, socialize and function within the family, it might be an anxiety disorder.”

What Does it Look Like in Children?

Children’s brains are still developing; they have less life experience, and often do not have the language to express what is going on inside of them. Consequently, they show how they are feeling in their behavior. 

“Signs of anxiety can include irritability, difficulty sleeping, feeling restless, trouble concentrating, frequent crying/tantrums, and physical complaints such as headaches, stomachaches and fatigue,” Baker says.

Child psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore agrees, saying, “One of the difficult parts of getting help for children suffering from anxiety is that anxiety often presents as a constellation of negative behaviors.”

Behaviors are external, meaning they happen outside of the body, so the caregivers notice them. Unfortunately, caregivers do not always see the underlying anxiety, which is the root of these unwanted behaviors.  

How Can Parents Help?

First and foremost, encouraging children to talk about their worries and empathizing with your child is an important step. Helping them to understand that everyone has worries, including you, validates their concern. Furthermore, children feel safer when they know what to expect.

“Setting clear expectations and following a routine often support children’s ability to manage stressors and move through their day successfully,” Baker says.

Routines help build skills like time management, organization and follow-through. Allow your children to provide input on the schedule, as appropriate, to allow a sense of control throughout their day. Implement deep breathing, mindfulness activities, use of fidgets, drawing, exercising and progressive muscle relaxation to help manage feelings of anxiety. 

The COVID-19 Pandemic has affected everyone’s life in many ways we never thought possible. Routines, schedules and daily living have changed drastically. Some of the most affected by this change are children. New fears, new experiences, and many changes related to going out in public are now a part of our everyday reality.

Children will experience fears, worries, and concerns related to this “new normal,” and this is a typical response. If you feel as if what your child is experiencing begins to impact their daily functioning, you may want to consider contacting your pediatrician or local mental health agency. 

— Written by Nicole Mann, Ph.D., an Early Head Start Health Services Specialist with Crossroads Health, which offers a continuum of recovery and mental health programs and services for all people, at any age or stage of life. As a community-based 501(c)(3) nonprofit, Crossroads Health is committed to providing trauma-informed, evidence-based services that change lives and impact communities. They desire to see all who seek support in living healthy, active and productive lives.