Deanna Szente, a mom of three from Avon Lake, says her family’s life often consists of therapy, doctor appointments and overnight hospital visits, as their son, Ryin, 4, was diagnosed with autism just after age 2.
She says with her youngest needing significant support, her daughter Ravyn, 5, began having a hard time and was feeling left behind.
“It’s hard having mom and dad away,” says Szente about Ravyn, who felt overshadowed by her parents’ focus on her little brother’s needs.
Szente sought out books to help her daughter, but couldn’t find any that dealt with this specific experience, so she decided to write her own.
The self-published book, “Feelings That Matter,” which came out earlier this year, is about their everyday life and how her children interact, particularly Ravyn.
“She is 100 percent about being a big sister and taking care of her little brother. It doesn’t affect her relationship with Ryin, it’s more of her relationship with me and her dad.” says Szente, adding that her children Romeo, 7, Ravyn and Ryin are “three peas in a pod.”
“The book has some conversation starters for parents who are experiencing this and maybe don’t know where to start,” Szente says. “I’m just hoping for anybody who’s having a hard time dealing with these emotions with their kids, they can feel comfortable talking about it, because even if the kids do feel left out or maybe they’re having outbursts, it’s normal and it’s natural to feel that way. It’s better to talk about it and not just to keep these things bottled up.”
She advises parents to give themselves some grace and try to spend as much individual time as possible with each child. Szente adds her family loves to be outside together and it helps everyone the most.
“They are all so active, they always want to be jumping, running and climbing — and we just go to different playgrounds and (other free) activities in Northeast Ohio,” she says.
Writing the book has been therapeutic for Szente, along with her daughter.
“It gives me a different perspective on the situation, because you’re reflecting on it, and I feel like it did help my daughter because it gave her that special time with me,” she says. “Sometimes when she’s still having a hard time, I ask, ‘Do you want to get your book and we can read it together?’ We point to feelings and talk about our feelings, and what’s frustrating to us. I know it’s definitely helped me, and I think it’s helped her as well.”
For more info about the book or to purchase, visit store.bookbaby.com or amazon.com.
