The joke around our house is that my younger son “never really wanted to be a baby.” This little guy, from the first moment I met him, acted independently. It felt like he navigated what food he wanted, how long he wanted to be held, and when he felt it was time for bed. While he hit nearly every developmental milestone early — walking, potty training, tying his shoes— there is one he never quite mastered: going to bed.
I guess I didn’t value the importance of sleep until I became a mother. I envy the parents who have their kids in their beds by 8 p.m., and while they might not be sleeping, their rooms are quiet. Mom and Dad can have a peaceful moment on the couch watching the latest Nextflix series.
That is not a typical night for us. We are constantly in a sleep war called “The Battle of Staying in Your Room”’ or “The Bedtime Revolutionary” that carries on for hours. Instead, we should just be getting to bed a lot earlier.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, children ages 6-12 should be getting 9-12 hours of sleep, and kids 13 and older should be getting 8-10 hours. Preschoolers and toddlers need even more, from 10-14 hours, with the younger ages needing the most sleep.
For kids ages 9 and older who are struggling with sleep insomnia, a March study called, “Trajectories of Insomnia Symptoms from Childhood through Young Adulthood,” show these issues will trickle into adulthood.
“The odds of insomnia symptoms worsening into adult insomnia were 2.6-fold and 5.5-fold among short-sleeping children and adolescents, respectively,” it said.
The authors note, “Early sleep interventions are a health priority, and pediatricians should not expect insomnia symptoms to resolve by themselves in a high proportion of children.”
While there are treatments your child’s pediatrician could suggest to help with sleep, good bedtime habits are often recommended.
Dr. Jason Sherman, a Cleveland Clinic pediatric specialist, wrote in a 2020 article on “How to Get Your Child to Go to Bed and Actually Stay There” that “kids are curious and sometimes feel like they’re missing out – for whatever reason – when they go to sleep. Kids want to explore and spend time with people. Getting out of bed or refusing to sleep might be signs that your child needs more structure, or it could even point to signs that your child is stressed or worried and needs to be reassured.”
He suggests having a set bedtime, one hour of quiet time before bed. He says to be consistent and reassuring, offering rewards and praise for staying in bed — and don’t dwell on misbehavior from the previous night if it doesn’t go well.
I think the most important advice Sherman provided was to be calm. It’s not easy, though, especially when you are feeling tired from your own day and had hoped to get the minimum 7 hours of sleep the CDC recommends for adults.
So remember, be patient. And while every bedtime won’t be perfect (and it might take years for some kids to have good sleep habits), when it does happen, it will be a dream come true.
This column was printed in the March 2022 issue of Northeast Ohio Parent magazine.
