There are a lot of things we’ve given up the past few months. Trips to see the grandparents. Planned vacations with friends from Canada. Holidays with family. In-person races. Going to my best friend’s wedding in New York. Celebrating her bachelorette. The kids’ first flights (we had a trip to DC scheduled for March 14). So much has been postponed, moved or even canceled. And so many of these are moments we’ll never get back.
But despite it all, amidst the all the anger and feelings of “it’s not fair,” I’ve been feeling somewhat grateful lately. Strange, right? But if I stop to think of all the things I’ve gained during this time (and I’m not talking about the Quarantine 19), I realize how much I have to be thankful for. For example:
Breakfasts with the kids. Before this time period, I was usually out the door between 7:30 and 8, well before the kids had eaten breakfast. Mornings were always crazy and rushed, and I ran out of the house usually just as my husband and the kids were sitting down to eat. Now, even if I’m answering emails or catching up on some things, I often enjoy breakfast with the kids. And if the weather’s nice, we’re outside.
Getting in more mileage. A few months ago, I would have time to run 3-5 miles each morning before work. If I hit snooze, I’d miss a stretch or a mile. But now, most mornings, I know that if I’m home 5-10 minutes later after a run, it’s not the end of the world. I won’t be scrambling to get out the door and can probably make up that time in other ways. And, if one of the kids is up early, I’m able to get in a pre-work stroller run, something I never would’ve attempted before. But since the kids also don’t have to get ready to go anywhere, it’s easy to take them out.
Spending more time with my sister-in-law and her family. When schools were first closed for a few weeks in March, my sister-in-law and her husband (who both work in schools) offered to come over a few days a week with their one-year-old to help out with the kids while my husband and I worked from home. Well, a few weeks turned into a few months, and they were able to stay and help us a few days a week for most of the summer. Not only did it help me stay productive at work, but it also meant that we got to spend more time with them than ever before. Our kids and their daughter played together several days a week. We ate meals with them and sometimes they stayed for dinner. We saw their daughter take some of her first steps. And none of this would’ve happened otherwise.
Family walks. My kids can’t stay inside all day — they’ll go stir crazy (and so will I!). And luckily, we’ve been able to take a walk with them nearly every day. During normal times, we sometimes are able to take a post-dinner walk together. But during the pandemic, we’ve made early morning pre-work walks almost a daily tradition. Does it happen every morning? No, sometimes I have early meetings or things to do that get in the way. But I’ve taken more family walks this year than I ever have before, thanks to us being stuck at home together.
Spending so much time with my family. What is the common denominator? It’s really about all the time we’ve gotten to spend together. I don’t know if I ever realized how little time I actually spent with my family before the pandemic. If I was out the door at 7:30 a.m. and then picked them up from daycare around 6 p.m., that meant we spent 2-3 hours together as a family each day. And these hours were often just a rush to get ready in the morning, make/eat dinner, maybe take a walk and then get ready for bed. These days, even if I’m working in the attic, we’re spending all day together.
While it can be frustrating at times to have to take so many breaks during the day to change diapers, help with the potty training, make lunches, break up a fight, clean up lunches, kiss a boo boo, get them down for naps, and so on, it’s also time that I know I never would’ve had before with them. I’m getting to know my little ones and their personalities more than ever. Do we all get along all the time? Not at all. But each hug I get after a temper tantrum or fight is an extra moment that I’m cherishing. Because soon (hopefully), this will all be over and our lives will be back to normal. And while that sounds incredible, I now know how much I’m going to miss about this time together.