In January 2014 my husband Nate and I received the most precious gift. Our daughter, K was born and placed in our arms via open adoption. We were so blessed to have been invited into the delivery room, and to share K’s first moments with her and both of her birth parents.
We were able to stay at the hospital from the time K was born, until she was discharged to come home with us. We learned how to feed her, change her, bathe, dress and swaddle her. We thought, “We’ve got this!” And then they sent us home…
We were expecting everything that comes along with a new baby – the sleepless nights, the endless bottle washing and sterilizing, dirty diapers, mounds of laundry covered in who knows what, etc… We welcomed most of it, knowing that it wouldn’t last forever.
Google became my second brain – “What if the umbilical cord never falls off? My baby needs a bath,” “How much spit up is too much,” “How much should a baby cry,” “How much sleep does a newborn need,” quickly followed by “getting baby to sleep through the night” and so on. What Google couldn’t answer, the doctor normally covered at our monthly checkups. And, slowly but surely, we’re getting the hang of this parenting thing. Or so they tell us.
Even if we aren’t doing everything perfectly, according to this baby book or that Website, we’ve found a routine that seems to work for the three of us. We’ve tried some things that did not work out, so we changed it up until something stuck. K may not be following the best naptime schedule, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten to record one or two “baby book” moments. But you know what? The kid is happy and healthy, and we’re enjoying the heck out of her!
I just try to remember that she’s a little person with her own personality, and she has a say in how things go around here, too. I’m not going to drive myself crazy trying to be perfect, while my daughter is growing before my eyes.
If you’re a parent, you know and if you’re just starting your family, you’ll learn: there is plenty of helpful advice out there, but there’s lots of not-so-helpful advice, too. You just have to sort through what you like, and forget about the rest. That Pinterest project you couldn’t wait to try may end up in the trash. And your kid might not say “Da Da” as quickly as your friend’s kid. Usually those are not the things that matter. It’s hard to remember sometimes, but it’s the moments you spend and the memories you make that will last a life time.