Imagine standing in a downward flowing mountain stream. (I say “downward flowing” because streams only flow one way. Down.) As you stand in the stream, you demonstrate your natural talent for standing on your two legs. Yes, standing on your own two legs could be considered a natural talent. And as with each talent, they need to be developed.
A natural talent streams within your child in one direction. Out! A strong desire burns within your child’s heart and mind to BE according to this one natural talent. He or she naturally desires to live life developing this one natural talent.
By encouraging and supporting this innate desire to BE KNOWN FOR this one main talent, you show your child you truly understand him or her. When a child feels understood and accepted for the way he or she is, you teach by selfless love.
As an infant, most babies cannot physically stand up on their own two legs yet. Developmentally, they have no natural ability to do it yet. It takes time before the brain and mind can work together to eventually build on the desire and practice with the natural ability to physically stand up.
As with any skill, the same is true of developing your natural talent for whatever. In fact, you may be consciously unaware of what all your natural talents are at any one time. They may need to reveal themselves.
However, we ALL have natural talent in something. By feeling encouraged to develop our natural talent, we feel like we belong here. That sense of belonging feels good. When we feel good about ourselves, we feel uplifted and that we can do something that really matters in our world.
Think about feeling good about being here and doing something meaningful, especially related to your child’s abilities, capabilities and skills. Some talents need to be discovered. Your child will most easily feel encouraged to develop them when you say positives about him or her having the courage to do what comes naturally. By respectfully encouraging your children to develop their natural talents, they feel supported, loved and respected. I truly believe a foundation of feeling good about who you are, especially for our children, can help reduce the suicide rate among them. It could reduce the desire to commit suicide in anyone because encouragement for anyone uplifts!
Even if this talent is something about which you would never be personally interested, encourage your children to pursue developing it. As long as there is no physical harm in developing it, and your child’s desire to develop it causes no harm to others, encourage them. Encouraging your child to develop natural talent cements your relationship with them. Children live what they learn. By you being encouraging to your child, they will encourage their own children.
When you intentionally and purposely support, love and respect your children in developing their natural talents, they feel safe to talk with you about anything. This is an important relationship skill to develop with them early on. As they age, they will certainly get into situations where they will feel confused about how to make proper life decisions. So, encouraging your child to develop his or her natural talent is a good relationship-building and bonding activity.
Natural Talent Needs Nurturing
In Ned Herrmann’s book, “The Creative Brain,” brain research reveals that each of us has at least one, and probably more than one, natural talent. He calls these natural talents Brain Dominant Preferences. These neurologically, biochemically, energetically, spiritually, Divinely set-for-life abilities help us see life from four basic and unique viewpoints.
It can be frustrating sometimes to be unaware of what your family member’s brain dominant preferences are. Communication conflict can appear simply because family members are unknowingly working in conflict with them. When it comes to brain dominant preferences and family cooperation, conflict may be a matter of can’t rather than won’t. What I mean here is that due to a family member’s brain dominant preferences, compromises may be impossible for a child who is a perfectionist. It’s not that the perfectionistic thinking child won’t be more flexible, it’s that his perfectionistic brain design can’t naturally think in a different way. The child naturally, neurologically, biochemically thinks in very rigid, inflexible, perfectionistic ways not as a matter of learned behavior but as a matter of brain physiology. However, the perfectionistic thinking child can be trained to think differently to be more compatible with others. So, making one’s point needs to include a lot of details for the child so he or she can see “the perfection” in sharing or taking into consideration the viewpoints of others to work more compatibly with them. If you are interested in understanding more about communicating more clearly with your friends and family members, consider looking at my book, “Brainview: What Does Your Brain Think Of You?” Though I wrote this book for councilors, social workers and personal development practitioners, it is written so that parents could use it to understand their family members better.
The Brain’s Four Viewpoints Are NOT Personality Traits
The brain’s four viewpoints are not personality traits. They are more like features you would find in a specific computer software program. When it comes to the brain, think of the brain’s four basic viewpoints as communication tools/features in all human brains. These 4 quadrant abilities are present from birth so each of us can operate the human brain using thoughts.
Since we operate our brain by thinking thoughts from our mind, I call these brain programs thoughtware programs. That kind of sounds like software programs, only we activate them using our thoughts instead of a hardware computer. Using this analogy (my husband has 30 years of network engineering experience – so you see where I get the analogy? LOL), we can see that the brain is the world’s most sophisticated computer.
Our unique thoughts and thought patterns are like software programs. Our thoughtware programs can cause us to experience specific outcomes of thinking those unique thoughts in a system of thoughts or beliefs.
The four basic Brain Dominant Preference Intentions or Viewpoints help each human know and interpret life. And, each child comes into the world, even in multiple-birth situations like twins or triplets, as a unique individual. A person’s brain dominant preferences are unique to that individual.
Look at your own children. When compared next to each other, you can’t mix them up. You know their exclusive skills and talents. You understand their innate natures of being.
By working WITH your child’s innate nature of beingness, think about how that child may grow up. Also, think about how encouraging your child to develop his or her natural talents can help your child be a life success.
In your imagination, see one child for who he or she is in an occupation. What might that occupation be? It can help you see that occupation when you understand the brain’s four ways of knowing life. They are:
Upper left brain – in a very detail-oriented, somewhat introverted way, inflexibly seeks accuracy and/or perfectness in life
Lower left brain – in a practical, almost computer-like way, seeks efficiency or orderliness in life
Upper right brain – in an outgoing, excited, enthusiastic, charming, charismatic way, seeks to be publicly appreciated for contributions/performance in life
Lower right brain – in a loving, kind, sometimes too trusting way, seeks to be friendly and develop compatible relationships in life thinking everyone seeks honesty in all relationships
Now that I’ve identified the human brain’s four basic ways of knowing, think about your child’s natural talent. Look for that talent from the viewpoint of each of these brain dominant preferences. Start now guiding your children in a direction to develop their natural talents if that’s what they want to do. Don’t force your interpretation of what they will be. Just stand in the stream of their talents with them, flowing with them in their natural direction of that talent.
They can use their natural talents with greater ease if you help your children develop their brain dominant preferences as youngsters. For example, occupations for each child’s way of knowing and interpreting life might look like the following:
Upper left brain – seeks accuracy or perfectness in life – occupation might be in banking, accounting, statistics or critical analysis careers
Lower left brain – seeks efficiency or orderliness in life – occupation might be in leadership, doctoring, lawyering, or planning careers
Upper right brain – seeks to be publicly appreciated for contributions/performance in life – occupation might be in acting, public performance, public speaking or something before an audience of peers
Lower right brain – seeks to be friendly and develop compatible relationships in life – occupation might be as a stay at home mother, teacher, blogger, social worker, religious leader, counselor
There is great orderliness to the human brain and our way of being. Our natural talents are a part of that orderliness. Working with your child’s natural talent helps him or her have clarity about a sound future. For this reason and more, I encourage you to identify your child’s natural talent and encourage him or her to develop it. Even if it seems boring or uninteresting to you, as long as your child passionately LOVES and is a “natural” at doing his or her innocent, harmless way of being, encourage it!