When a loved one has cancer, you may wonder how to best support them. Be open and sensitive to their feelings. Just knowing you are there can be helpful.
Each person with cancer experiences it differently. Avoid assuming how they might feel. One day they may be happy, and the next, they might be sad. Be attentive to their mood.
Keep in mind that they might not always want to discuss or dwell on their cancer. Engaging in normal conversations about everyday topics and sharing jokes can sometimes be very appreciated.
If they choose not to talk about their cancer, don’t take it personally. Respect their need for privacy or quiet time.
Stay Close, Even if You’re Unsure of What to Say
Finding the right words for a loved one with terminal cancer can be challenging. However, simply be present and listen to know exactly what to say.
We don’t need all the answers or always know what to say. The key is not to stress about saying the perfect thing but to be there.
Don’t fear silence. Allowing quiet moments can allow you and your loved one to process and understand your experiences.
Honor Your Loved One’s Limits
Keep in mind that each patient will handle and react to their cancer diagnosis uniquely, and they may not always be receptive to support.
Be ready to show understanding and respect if your loved one declines your help. They have a right to privacy, so trust that they can communicate their needs honestly as they change, while maintaining a trusting and open relationship with them.
Also, they should be encouraged to seek innovative treatments and participate in cancer research. There are new treatments for cervical cancer which can help prolong life expectancy for patients, and your loved one may be interested in exploring these options.
Maintain a Sense of Normalcy
Spouses and family members often tend to do things for someone with cancer because they feel helpless, and taking action seems useful. However, many individuals with cancer wish to maintain normalcy and continue their pre-diagnosis activities as a coping mechanism. Otherwise, it can feel like cancer is dominating their lives.
Avoid constant discussions about the disease. Remember to laugh, express hope, and discuss the future. Don’t feel guilty if the person with cancer is handling household tasks, caring for children, etc.
Stay Connected
Friends and family often become busy and may forget to stay connected after the initial shock of a diagnosis fades. However, a cancer journey can extend for many months or even years. Check-in regularly with someone battling cancer, whether in person, by phone, or via video call.
This gesture can be significant and help them maintain a positive outlook. Respond to messages promptly, keep conversations brief, and call at a convenient time for them. If visiting, consider bringing a snack to share.
Try to visit on weekdays, avoiding weekends and holidays when many others might visit. Offer to watch TV, read, do crossword puzzles, or take a short walk together if they feel up to it.
Keep Things Open and Honest
Our loved ones with cancer require a truthful evaluation of their condition to make decisions that suit their needs, even if the truth is difficult to hear. Be honest with other family members, particularly children.
While we may wish to shield children from the harsh reality of a parent or grandparent’s situation, they often envision the worst. Even if the outlook is bleak, being honest with children allows them to start grieving and express their love.
Endnote
After completing cancer treatment and no longer having medical appointments, individuals begin to process their experiences. Although they might not require assistance with the treatment or its side effects, your emotional support remains important.
