Phillip and Becky Music met at Parma Senior High School in 2004, when she was a freshman and he was a senior. The Musics have been together ever since, and just celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary.
Phillip works as a cashier and Becky is currently looking for employment. The couple, who both have special needs, also have an 8-year-old son with autism.
“I think a lot of people judge us,” Phillip Music says. “A lot of people who don’t really know us that well, I think they do judge us a lot. They’re like, ‘You gotta learn this and how are you going to take care of your kid?’ I have confidence in myself. I know I can still be a good parent. Maybe I don’t know everything, but I’m learning every day.”
Phillip and Becky Music are not alone, as there are many parents with a reported disability who are raising children.
According to a 2024 report from the U.S. Government Accountability Office, an estimated 3 million parents with children age 5 and under have a reported disability.
The most common types of disabilities parents have are cognitive difficulties and learning disabilities.
These parents are at an increased risk of being in the child welfare system. Parents with disabilities also have a higher likelihood of housing and financial struggles, which might play a factor, along with bias associated with parents who have disabilities.
According to the National Research Center for People with Disabilities, parents with disabilities are more likely to lose the right to parent their child.
State and Local Support
In Ohio, a law passed in 2023 supports parents who have disabilities. Ohio Senate Bill 202 prohibits public or private agencies from denying or limiting parental or custodial rights solely on the basis that a person has a disability.
“The law ensures that the rights of parents with disabilities are equal to those without disabilities and acknowledges that disability does not determine fitness to parent,” according to a written release from the University Centers for Excellence in Developmental Disabilities (UCEDD).
While decisions are not solely based on a disability, every case is different and parents still have to adhere to the standards to ensure care is in the best interests of the child.
Katie Hunt Thomas, disability rights attorney and director of advocacy at The Ability Center in Sylvania, says (before the law) they got a number of calls from parents with disabilities who had evidence of discrimination and in danger of losing their children solely based on their disability.
“The legal standard is the “best interest of the child “ — all the (new) law does is make having a disability not the only reason that a child is taken away from a parent.” Thomas says. “(Parents with disabilities) should know the law now protects them if there is a decision being made because of a disability.”
She notes the laws do not put together support services, but there are plenty of organizations who can support these parents.
“There is a board of developmental disabilities in every county, there are legal services that serve people with disabilities at no cost, such as Disability Rights Ohio,” Thomas says.
Joanne Holloway, counselor at Cuyahoga County Board of Developmental Disabilities (Cuyahoga DD) works with more than 40 parents with disabilities in a program that provides parental educational and support services.
“When we become parents, there’s always a challenge to adapting and adjusting and caring for ourselves, our households and our children,” she says. “I take all of that and fit that into what our parents need.”
Parents come in with needs ranging from connecting with service providers for resources such as employment, housing, clothing, parenting classes and groups, and navigating how to communicate needs with other agencies such as schools, medical and other public systems.
She notes the parents have the responsibility of independently caring for their children, but the Cuyahoga DD acts as their support system.
Holloway also helps to advocate for the families who are currently working with the child welfare system.
“There is a large stigma against parents with disabilities,” she says. “A lot of our families don’t have the presence that we would consider societal norms of how to conduct yourself. Sometimes behaviors (are) not seen the same when it’s individuals with disabilities.
“I think that every child deserves to be with their loving parents,” Holloway adds. “Every loving parent deserves to be with their biological child. And I think it’s important to just have community support. That’s a love that I think can’t be duplicated from somewhere with better resources or better access. So we try to create those resources and access to the families and really just sustain them within the community that they live in.”
Meeting Each Family’s Specific Needs
Currently, Phillip and Becky Music are working with Cuyahoga DD and taking parenting classes with Holloway.
“It gave us a lot of information that really helped us to know more about autism when we didn’t know much about autism in the first place,” Phillip Music says. “I think it helped give us the tools that we needed to be a lot more successful.”
Becky adds they didn’t understand what their son actually needed and what they needed to work on.
“Nobody was being patient enough to sit down with us and say, this is what he needs, this is what you need to do to help him,” she says. “That’s what the parenting classes were for. Joanne broke it down step-by-step, and she didn’t even get mad or anything. She helped us understand what (our son) needs. So everything that we’ve learned with Joanne, we’ve been practicing and working on stuff with him.”
Becky Music says her son does require a lot of attention, adding, “We try to work together as a team to help him to talk and have a successful life.”
“I think people should acknowledge that regardless of whether you have a disability, it doesn’t mean you can’t become a good parent; it doesn’t mean you can’t become a good mother or father,” Phillip Music says. “As long as you help provide them with the right tools and knowledge, they can still be a successful parent.”
