You’re here because your child has a Princess Addiction? I know your biggest questions so let me answer those first.
Yes, The Princess Phase is common. I hesitate to call the princess phase “normal,” because I’m unqualified to diagnose what’s normal. Children are inherently idiosyncratic. I’ve never met a normal kid in my life. If I did, it would terrify me.
No, it doesn’t last forever. Anecdotally, the princess phase can begin before the third birthday. It usually recedes by the time they’re five or six, but don’t be surprised if they dust off their old Elsa dress once or twice for nostalgia’s sake.
You’re not a bad feminist if your daughter enjoys dressing like Ariel or Anna. The stories are fun and the dresses are pretty. Assertive and smart is not mutually exclusive from fun and pretty. And when you’re watching the stories with your children, you can remind them that it’s a bad idea to (a) marry the first guy you meet and (b) get cosmetic surgery from an unlicensed sea witch.
You can’t make the phase end before they’re ready. That’s like telling your teenager that you hate their boyfriend or girlfriend. That sort of assertion has a zero-percent success rate. All you can do is introduce them to other interests that can supplant or complement the princess fixation when they’re ready.
To answer your final question, yes, we have the methadone for your child’s addiction – several options actually. But remember, it’s ultimately their choice when they’re prepared to move on.
First, you may have heard, but Barbie’s hot this year. Now you may have your concerns about Barbie – her figure is practically parody. Anything shaped like that should tell you when your eggs are done cooking.
But Barbie has a job. She has all the jobs! She’s a paleontologist, doctor and astronaut. If representation is important to you, then Barbie is here to represent.
You can also introduce your child to the American Girls. On the plus side, your child can learn about different cultures and moments in American history. And there are so many American Girls now that your child will find one that resonates with them. (We are a Kit Kittredge home.)
There are books – so many books. But be warned: don’t crack those covers until you’re prepared for a heavy conversation. Those American Girl novels rack up a body count. Someone’s dying of diphtheria or getting gored during a buffalo hunt before it’s over.
On the minus side: that furniture is expensive. You can refurnish your bedroom for the cost of an American Girl playset. Kaya’s tepee costs more than some actual tepees.
Finally, I suggest my favorite Princess replacement: Fancy Nancy.
Nancy Clancy offers a lot of what makes princesses so attractive: fun outfits, proactive heroines and — if you watch the “Fancy Nancy” TV show – catchy music. Her stories also encourage creativity and (because Nancy’s in elementary school) she’s less boy crazy than your standard-issue Disney princess.
And she has books at all reading levels: picture books, starting readers, junior readers, even a series of chapter books. She has books where she learns about constellations and visits the art museum and solves mysteries. In fact, Nancy got her start as a literary character written by Jane O’Connor and drawn by Robin Preiss Glasser.
Now, if you’re familiar with Fancy Nancy, you may think she’s spoiled. For sure. But she usually gets what she deserves when she whines or makes bad choices.
Finally, if your child gets merch crazy, you don’t have to shell out hundreds on Fancy Nancy costumes and accessories. Tell your kid that Nancy would create her own fancy outfit and take ‘em thrift shopping, instead.
In conclusion, don’t let the Princess Phase – and it is a phase – stress you out. Your kids will spend their entire childhood (and adulthood too) trying on different identities, absorbing different lessons, and knitting them together into a person that’s uniquely themselves.
Besides, if you don’t like princess stuff, just wait until adolescence.
