Cell phones are everywhere, deeply ingrained in every aspect of our lives. As parents rely on them to communicate with schools, coaches and doctors offices, many wonder when the time is right to entrust a phone to their kids, especially as they enter middle school.
Dr. Courtney Batt, is an adolescent medicine specialist at University Hospitals Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital. While she readily acknowledges cell phones are now a fact of life, she is very clear about their significant drawbacks.
She points to social media as being particularly harmful for mental health with significant negative impacts on self-esteem and body image.
“Excessive cell phone use has been tied to negative mental health outcomes such as sleep disturbance, especially when phones are used before bedtime, and depressive symptoms as well as feelings of insecurity and impaired relationships with parents and at school,” Batt says. “In addition, other mental health problems like anxiety, hyperactivity and conduct problems have been linked to excessive cell phone use.”
But is it healthy to give kids access to a phone too early? And how can parents work with their children to stay safe emotionally, mentally and physically?
Make the Choice that Fits Best
Batt points out that there is no one-size -fits-all solution. Understanding your child, the risks and benefits of their specific situation and personality are all important to consider in decision-making.
She suggests parents look into smartphone alternatives such as basic flip phones or watches with restricted calling capabilities. Daysha L. of North Canton decided to purchase a Gizmo watch with her 11-year-old son, Maxwell, which allows him to communicate directly with them.
“He can have a limited number of approved contacts,” she says. ”He can also contact us using the Google Home Hub while his watch is charging.”
Daysha and her husband are confident in their choice, partially because Maxwell is neurodivergent and may lose a phone or become too immersed in it.
Having a reliable means to get in touch with your kids, especially amidst the constantly shifting sands of after school activities, not only makes life easier, but safer. These were all contributing factors for mom Bernadette Hartman of Cuyahoga Falls, who purchased phones for her son and daughter when they were in fifth and fourth grades.
“The most important reason I bought them phones at that age was for their safety and my peace of mind,” she says. “The fact that I have shared custody meant sometimes we parents got confused on who was picking up who, so my kids were able to call me if they were getting a ride, or needed a ride —it was the easiest way to communicate with them, especially if there was an issue.”
Hartman did set limits. She had restrictions on apps such as YouTube, and linked the phones to her Google account so she was able to approve any download. She also had GPS location turned on so she could be sure where her kids were.
“I recommend the kids have at least a phone that they can call you on,” she advises. “Even if they have no data, at least they can call in case of emergency.”
Phones and Boundaries for Kids
These sorts of rules and expectations at home are critical, no matter what age a family decides to trust their children with their own phones. According to Batt, limiting time spent on phones, monitoring content, setting clear family expectations are all important tools in keeping kids safe and healthy.
She recommends rules such as no cell phones before bed or charging in bedrooms, no phones during meals or other activities, and setting time limits throughout the day. A key component to this is making sure that as parents you are prepared to uphold the same rules and boundaries you set for your kids.
With parents drowning in a sea of apps, games, and trends, it often makes it nearly impossible for even the most careful parents to stay ahead of the game. Fortunately, there are resources to help.
Common Sense Media provides parents reviews on games, apps, TV, movies, and more helping families make more informed decisions (commonsensemedia.com).There are also games like spotthetroll.com, and getbadnews.com which help kids become more aware consumers of online content.
Also, parents should familiarize themselves with all parental controls available to them through the phone or specific apps, and be aware of their uses and their limitations.
While kids may want their phones to connect to their friends and peers, Akron Public Schools have found more real connection happened when they placed significant limits on phones on school campuses.
Kim Sabetta, campus principal at Ellet Community Learning Center, was part of a pilot program which utilized Yondr pouches, individual bags that lock students’ phones away throughout the school day. Starting in March of 2023 Sabetta recalls it took approximately two weeks for students to become accustomed to the new rules, and the positive effects to hold.
“We noticed immediately the increased social interaction that was taking place at lunch and the halls for students,” Sabetta says. “Teachers overwhelmingly identified that the implementation of the Yondr pouch has reduced student distractions resulting in increased student learning opportunities.”
According to Sabetta, implementation was not hard, however she notes that adults needed to be mindful of the anxiety children felt at not having their phones, and they had to work to reassure students and parents it was not a punishment, but rather a way to encourage better interaction between students as well as attention and participation in the classroom.
The program was so successful at addressing student connection, behavior and learning that the district decided to expand to 13 additional schools.
At the end of the day, phones aren’t going away, but making sure your family is ready to collaborate on owning one safely is the top priority.
“We have to recognize that in today’s society it’s challenging to function without a mobile device,” Batt says. “Cell phones are one important way that our kids stay connected to their peers, and we acknowledge that these peer relationships are important for growth and development. The real challenge becomes balancing the necessary use of cell devices for daily activities with excessive use.”
Parental Controls Help
Parental control apps can be a great tool to help parents monitor everything from screen time, to online bullying, to inappropriate content.
Here are five great options to help keep your kids safe, all available on iOS and Android devices.
Aura
Monitor bullying on online games, limit access to certain apps, set screen time limits, even pause the internet on certain connected devices.
FamilyKeeper
FamilyKeeper provides parents with an at-a-glance screen time report and easily helps parents set time limits for certain apps. It also provides location tracking ability as well as sends alerts for concerning social media activity as well as customizable safe browsing settings.
Life360
Life360 is a geo-tracking app that lets parents know the location of all family members. This app is especially great for parents of older kids, or for working parents who want to make sure their kids make it home from school safely.
Canopy
Canopy is a great option for families with younger kids who are not yet texting and calling, but parents do want to protect them against explicit content, inappropriate apps, and even protecting privacy by limiting kids’ abilities to share photos of themselves.
Qustodio
With various subscription levels, Qustodio offers different levels of oversight based on your family’s needs including game and app blocking, safe search and web filtering, activity reports, time limits, calls and message monitoring, and restricted times, particularly helpful near bedtime.