Being a single parent is not the same for everyone. Some folks share the holidays with their kids and their ex-spouse, and others may have certain holidays where they don’t get to be with their kids every year. Luckily, we’ve discovered several ways you can stay in the holiday spirit no matter your single parent situation. There is always something new to try during this time of year.
As a single parent myself, I share the holidays with my kids’ father. We celebrate together, and see family and friends together. I feel fortunate to be able to still have some of our regular traditions, but they do have modifications since our split.
Newly single parents may have to make some adjustments to their normal holiday plans to accommodate time with each parent and every child. Separations, divorces or a death of a spouse can take a toll on the emotional bandwidth your family has during the holidays, so here are so ways to keep spirits high.
Holiday Tips for Amicable Co-Parents
In most cases, children should be able to spend time with each parent during the holidays. Find ways to divide the time equally so it’s a win-win all around. Ask yourself if it’s safe and healthy to:
-Spend your special holiday (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and others) together
-Plan a holiday family gathering
-Have a dinner together
-Create a fun gift exchange
The reason why I say “safe and healthy” is to highlight that some situations may be best kept separate. Codependency is real and could be harmful to your family’s well-being. Reports suggest that more than 90% of the American population demonstrate signs of codependent behavior. This is to say though it may be common, it’s also good to be aware of those signs in the best interest of yourself and your children.
Holidays with Multiple Families
Navigating the holidays is an adventure alone. Add in managing to please two or more families and we’ve got a whole different ball game. Ultimately, it’s about fostering a harmonious atmosphere during this special time.
Here are a few things you can do to prepare yourself:
Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries with all families involved to avoid uncomfortable situations.
Be flexible: Try to be open to compromises and schedule adjustments to accommodate everyone’s needs.
Focus on the children: Keep in mind that the holidays are about the children, so prioritize their happiness and well-being.
Holiday Tips for Solo Parenting
The holiday spirit can still shine bright even if you have to spend the holidays with your kiddos alone. If this is new for your kids, a good way to ease them into the transition is to keep up with some of your normal holiday traditions, or make new ones.
Here are a few ideas:
Stick with your normal time for opening presents. If you’re ready to switch it up, open gifts on a different day or turn unwrapping gifts into a game.
Keep visiting family and friends. Being a solo parent for the holidays doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Reach out to your community and link up with those ready and willing to be by your side.
Good memories are wonderful to have, especially during the holidays. If your children want to reminisce, find ways to do it that will bring joy and laughter to your home.
Single Parent Holiday Shopping
Something that you may have once shared with your co-parent now seems all in your hands — gift shopping. My first warning is to not let this get out of hand. What you were once able to do as a couple may not be the same for you as a single parent, and that is more than okay.
To keep yourself on track, keep these tips in mind:
Budget. Set a reasonable budget for gifts to avoid financial stress. Focus on thoughtful presents rather than extravagant ones. Look for ways you can have lasting experiences over quick thrills with material items.
Plan Ahead. Start early and create a list of recipients and gift ideas. Online shopping can save you time and energy. Curbside pick up can be a lifesaver for single parents with small children.
Involve Your Kids. Turn gift shopping into a fun family activity. Let the kids select gifts for loved ones and help them recognize their own love for giving.
Take Care of You
You may be a parent that is about to spend your first holiday alone, without the kids or your significant other. This is time you can take to ensure you are the best version of yourself.
Here are some tips on how you can take care of yourself over the holidays.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. Focus on what you can give for the holidays and not what will be missing from the experience.
Pamper yourself. When you feel better and stress-free, the good vibes will rub off on everything around you.
This is not the end, but the beginning. Remind yourself that everything happens for a reason, and there is a purpose for you to have this time to yourself. What can you do to get ready for what’s next?
The truth is, being a single parent during the holidays is what you make it. This can be an opportunity for you to have the holidays you’ve always wanted with your children, or to try out new things. Whatever the case, your kids are the focal point and their happiness is all that matters.
