Toddlers are constantly biting. Their parents, siblings, peers, toys and whatever else they can get their hands on. Do you have a biting toddler on your hands? We sat down with Dr. Shelly Senders, founder and CEO of Senders Pediatrics about why toddlers bite and if the behavior is cause for concern.
Senders says that toddlers bite for a variety of reasons, and it’s usually a normal part of their development.
Teething and oral stimulation
Research shows that biting is a natural coping mechanism during teething, as the act of biting something can massage tiny gums and alleviate the pressure they feel.
“When a toddler’s gums are sore from the movement of teeth, it feels good to sink those teeth into a hunk of meat even if it is his/her mother’s thigh,” Senders says, who notes that 20 teeth erupt over the first few years.
Additionally, toddlers bite for oral stimulation because their mouths are one of their primary sources of pleasure. This phase derives from nursing, taking a bottle, sucking on their pacifiers or thumbs, etc.
Discharging built up energy
Toddlers discharge built up energy through their mouths, much like hitting or pushing releases energy through the hands. Biting gets a worse representation because it is perceived as more aggressive.
“This is simply a sign that he/she needs help in regulating impulses,” Senders says.
Joan Morgenstern, director of Community Engagement and Parent Education at Senders Pediatrics says that one way to redirect the energy is by offering a safe biting object such as a chew necklace, teething toy or crunchy snack instead.
Gaining a sense of control
When a toddler bites, it can often be a way for them to gain a sense of control over their environment, as biting gives them the immediate feedback they crave.
“To them, when feeling out of control, a bite literally says, ‘I’ve got you where I want you. You can’t run away because I have you right here,’” Senders says.
Exploring cause and effect
Senders adds toddlers often bite because they are investigating their environment and exploring the world around them, meaning, they want to see what happens when they engage in certain behaviors like biting.
“What is often going on in their mind’s is, ‘I wonder what will happen if I bite my classmate,’” he says. “And they are not sophisticated enough to say, ‘that’s something I shouldn’t do.’”
How to stop excessive biting
If you feel your child is biting excessively, Morgenstern offers these tips for parents:
Set a clear limit. This can be done by simply saying: “I cannot allow you to bite. Biting hurts.”
Seek to understand the reason for biting. Was it due to encroachment of space? General overwhelm? If you can determine the reason, help the child learn a replacement skill.
Teach replacement skills once the child is calm.
Redirect the energy safely. Offer a safe biting object like a teething toy.
Model and practice appropriate responses through stories and role-playing.
