The school shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas last Tuesday, which 19 children and two teachers were killed, has shook the country. While we are grieving for the families in Texas and watching the news or reading articles on our smart phones, many kids are also viewing information on their devices about the shooting or hearing about it from their peers. For parents, they have to find ways to answer questions from their kids and help them process this tragic event in a developmentally appropriate manner.
Dr. Marilyn Sampilo, psychologist for Cleveland Clinic Children’s says “Really thinking about approaching those conversations, especially with elementary-aged and older kids and saying like, ‘Hey what do you know about what just happened?’ because that way you’re meeting them where they’re at. You’re not providing them with more information than what they already know,”
According to the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement (NCSCB), “the amount of details that children will find useful will depend upon their age. The older the child is, the more details will likely be needed to answer their questions and address their concerns. Provide the basic information in simple and direct terms and then ask for questions. Take your cues from children in determining how much information to provide.”
Speaking of feelings, Sampilo said there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable in front of your kids, just as long as you’re also showing them healthy ways to cope. For example, taking some deep breaths.
She also recommends limiting your child’s exposure to the media.
“I want to be really intentional about limiting exposure, so not just limiting you know having them watch news coverage or TV, but even if you just have it on in the background and you think the kids are playing and think they’re doing something, they are still likely taking in that information,’ she says.
Dr. Sampilo said it’s also important for parents to pay attention to any changes in their child’s behavior due to what happened. If they seem more quiet or withdrawn, it might be a sign they’re having a hard time.
According to the American Psychological Association, it suggests “children, regardless of age, often find home to be a safe haven when the world around them becomes overwhelming. Help make it a place where your children find the peace or comfort they need. Consider planning a night where everyone participates in a favorite family activity.”
Also, it notes” for children (and adults) to experience a wide range of emotions, including fearfulness, shock, anger, grief and anxiety. Encourage your children to put their feelings into words by talking about them or journaling. Some children may find it helpful to express their feelings through art, such as drawing/painting pictures, telling stories, etc.”
Source: The Cleveland Clinic Visit my.clevelandclinic.org
