Abby Dosen, of Independence, knows firsthand how easy it is for mothers to lose themselves in the daily demands of raising children.
Dosen’s book, “Realistic Self Care for Moms: A Guided Journal for Taking Care of You While Taking Care of Them,” grew out of a deeply personal realization: that the version of self-care many moms chase isn’t the one that actually sustains them.
“When you take care of yourself regularly, you don’t necessarily feel like you’re crawling to those huge forms of what everyone thinks of as self-care, the spa day or the girls trip or night out,” explains the mom of three. “Real self-care is what’s happening on a day-to-day basis; this is realistic self-care.”
The idea that self-care should shift from an occasional indulgence to consistent, daily support is at the heart of her message. Dosen emphasizes that small, everyday choices — what you eat, how you move, how you manage stress — build over time. Ignoring them, she says, can lead to burnout, resentment and bitterness.
Her motivation to write the book started long before motherhood, when she questioned the common narrative that moms must lose themselves entirely. But it became urgent during the early years of raising her daughters Zoey, Mia and Emma, who are now ages
6, 4 and 3, respectively.
“I felt like I was in survival mode,” she says of the summer after Emma was born. “I was at a place where the kids would be kids, and
I felt like I was ready to snap at all times.”
Determined to change, Dosen began identifying her own needs — basic, emotional, social, etc. — and noticed how meeting them affected her patience and presence. “I started just making a list of my needs,” she recalls. “And I thought, wow, this could really help other moms.”
That realization shaped both the message and format of “Motherhood Reimagined.” Rather than a traditional advice book, it’s designed to be interactive and highly personalized.
“I really wanted to guide people on the journaling process to get them to have the opportunity to actually think about these things in terms of their own life,” Dosen says. “I wanted moms to be able to interact with everything they read as they read it.”
Each chapter covers the self-care topic, then ends with a reflection practice that allows the reader to think about how that topic shows up in their life. From there, readers move into a visualization phase in which they examine what they want that self-care to look like. The final step is the growth practice, in which Dosen gives moms an actual plan and a challenge.
“That is the most important part and is what sets my book apart from other parenting books because it is holding you a little accountable for it,” she explains. “I think that’s where actual, sustainable change
can happen.”
In addition to her book, Dosen also hosts Empowered Mom workshops for public events or private groups, in both virtual and in-person formats.
“We get to know each other, connect and share personal stories, but really the goal is to kickstart this whole process and get participants comfortable with thinking about self-care in a way that removes the stigma of it being selfish,” she says. “A lot of times, moms think that time for themselves is a disservice to their kids, and I could not disagree more. When you care for yourself, you are more regulated and you have more energy. All of these positive side effects are actually going to help your children or your partner or your spouse in so many ways.”
Through her book and her work with other moms, Dosen’s goal is simple but powerful: to help women move beyond survival mode, reconnect with themselves, and show up more fully for the life they’re already living.
For more information about Dosen’s book, Empowered Mom events and more, visit adosenbooks.com.
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