With butterflies in my stomach, I walked down to the dock located on the banks of the Cuyahoga River. For years, I had wanted to do this, and here I was. I was about ready to embark on a season of crew rowing with a team. I didn’t know anyone. I also didn’t know how to row. I was a complete novice with simply a desire to spend summer nights in a boat, buffing up my arms and rowing crew with a complete group of strangers.
This was last May, and guess what? I survived. In fact, I am getting ready for summer number two on the Cuyahoga River, rowing with the Western Reserve Rowing Association.
As a mom, I’d forgotten how it felt to be the kid showing up, knowing nothing and knowing no one. Standing there trying to find my team and not knowing what to do, the pit in my stomach reminded me how resilient my kiddo was time after time in summer camp after summer camp, musical theater audition after musical theater audition, first day of school, last day of school, etc.
Somewhere along my journey of parenthood, I had stopped pursuing the experiences that stretched me as I watched my child grow into an amazing young human.
Something else happened last year; my daughter graduated from high school and left for college. Every mama heart feels all the feels of watching our child achieve milestones. When that happened, I began the hard work of writing my next chapter, too.
It’s been a year of growth and change for both her and me. And, just like every season of parenthood, I’m learning and continuing to grow.
I’m still worried about screen time and where she is hanging out, but I’ve also grown in confidence in her decision-making. And, as I’ve let go a little of the day-to-day parenting, I’ve searched for new purposes and other passions.
That purpose and passion I now refer to as “texture” in my life. It’s truly the little things — whether experiences or simple observations — that complement my life, not just as a mom, but as a human.
Parenthood has been all-consuming — 24/7 — and there was a lot of magic in those years. At times, though, I got lost — even a little bored — in the routine.
In January, as the calendar turned to another year, I launched the “texture project,” my own little venture as I tried to remain cool or hip or whatever the current word is, and I subscribed to a “word of the year” fad. I’m leaning into texture. Not texture in my outfits (though they could use some help!), or in my home decor (again, could use some expertise), but texture in my life. I’m leaning into a life designed with moments.
I’m curating experiences that complement the many blessings I have — from my child to the dreams that I put on a shelf at times during my years in parenthood. I’ve been stretching myself to open that door a bit wider and to live a little bit more. In some ways, this is my self-care…it’s perhaps the best self-care.
What would you add if you could add a little texture to your life? It might just be the best self-care you can give yourself this month. Perhaps I’ll see you on the dock down by the Cuyahoga River. I promise, we’ll be okay as we stretch ourselves outside our comfort zones. Us mamas have to stick together.
Fleming-Gifford holds a master’s degree in family and consumer sciences with a specialization in child development. Equal parts strategist and storyteller, she’s passionate about the intersection of people, purpose and possibility. When she’s not connecting communities or championing big ideas, you’ll likely find her outdoors, immersed in the arts, listening to (or making) music, or writing. She is the author of “SymFUNNY,” a children’s book, and “The Gift I Never Wanted,” a memoir that explores resilience and growth. Visit her blog “Simplicity Soup” at northeastohioparent.com/bloggers.
