We’re an old married couple.
My husband and I have been married long enough I have to really think about how many years it’s been (I need to pause and do the math in my head). I do not proudly state the number of years we have been together like a badge of honor, like we continue to trudge along despite despising one another because we made this commitment. I married my best friend and I love spending time with him (unless he’s chewing something crunchy within earshot, then I feel rather murdery, but that’s my pet peeve and apparently this wife’s too and it has a name: misophonia!).
I digress; I’m in it for the looooong-haul so 8 years or 18 years does not matter to me. For me, being with my hubby is pretty effortless because I continue to find him funny, incredibly intelligent, and overall fantastic. In short, I’m not sick of him.
How we Typically Celebrate Valentine’s Day
When it’s time to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I am not interested in restaurant specials and arranging a babysitter. Instead, my hubby takes the lead on planning the main meal and I handle dessert. Valentine’s Day menu planning starts early February because I go food shopping only two times a month, so we need to have our list of ingredients well in advance for my food-shopping trip. I serve as the sous chef to his culinary prowess (we usually pick something outside of the box). It’s fun to create new and different dishes together, like our very own one-on-one date on The Bachelor.
This year we have my new pressure cooker (care of my TV appearance), so a whole new world of recipes possibilities has opened up to us! Dessert is usually decadent and involves chocolate because I am a bonafide chocoholic (maybe I’ll branch out – oh heck who am I kidding? I will just make two desserts).
My love language is anything but stuff (aka “receiving gifts”). I love acts of service like cooking, cleaning, or getting the kids ready for bed, quality time. I don’t need flowers, chocolates or jewelry. It’s nice, but they don’t make me feel incredibly special. If you prefer gifts, be sure to share this information with your partner (maybe some purchase options too) to avoid any V-day disappointment.
We make an effort to show care and appreciation for one another on a daily basis and prioritize our marriage by investing in a date night every month. Valentine’s Day is not the culmination of all romance for the year. We cook, we eat, we share sweet cards (with really long and rambling messages written in them because I write on every side of the card), and then we crash on the couch with a movie while our three babes sleep upstairs.
At the end of the night we go upstairs and I peak in on my little ones, sound asleep and angelic, and I feel more love and warmth in my heart knowing my hubby has already given me the best gifts ever.
I hope you get exactly what you want this Valentine’s Day. Also, please give your partner a leg-up and tell them what you want – don’t make them guess and increase the chance of being let down!
Check out these links if you want more of an insider’s look at my marriage:
Michelle Dickstein is a working mom and blogger raising three young daughters with her husband in Northeast Ohio. Michelle is always searching for ways to live her happiest life and she loves sharing her discoveries (and failed experiments) with her friends and readers. Michelle writes about friendship, marriage and parenting from breastfeeding twins to answering the “tough” questions from her kids. Read more at her blog, emailingwithmygirlfriends.com.