It’s not something parents want to think about — their child making plans or considering how not to be alive.
However, 18% of high school students made a suicide plan during the past year, according to most current U.S. Youth Risk Behavior Survey from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among high school-aged youths ages 14–18.
Dr. John Ackerman, child clinical psychologist and the suicide prevention clinical manager for the Center for Suicide Prevention and Research at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, says suicidal ideation seems to be increasing, especially among females.
He notes these thoughts often emerge in the early-to-late preteen years, but can show up at younger ages.
These thoughts of dying by suicide may or not be verbalized. For some par- ents, they might hear their child say, “I don’t want to live anymore,” or “I should just kill myself.” While they might not take action right away, any warning signs or discussion of suicide needs to be addressed quickly.
“The studies that have been done with children tend to show a pretty fast movement from ideation to action — from the thinking to the actual suicidal behavior, which is why a lot of the work with young kids requires you to take a proactive approach,” Ackerman says.
For parents, this approach is to have discussions with your teens.
“They don’t have to have any current mental health concerns to check in on the possibility of suicidal thinking. Because we’re so poor at predicting if and when kids will experience suicidal thoughts during a crisis, having conversations in advance at a time when it’s calm is ideal. The goal is to let them know you are a safe person to talk to when they are overwhelmed. Check in on their mental health and recognize that their friends (also) may be experiencing a lot of distress.”
Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s Center for Suicide Prevention and Research provides tips about how parents can check in with their child and ask about suicidal thoughts. It suggests discussing any changes (in moods or behaviors) with your child and concerns. Also,be direct when asking about suicide thinking, but don’t try to solve issues immediately, but instead show support and let them know you will be there for them.
It’s important for parents to look for the warning signs and get professional help for teens who are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, but also create a household that is safe, whether it’s securing firearms, prescrip- tion and over-the-counter medications, or other accessible lethal means to hav- ing an open dialogue with your teens about their emotions and daily life.
“Sometimes when we’re dealing with mental health challenges, a thought of wanting to die or escape from pain is a signal that we really need to get professional support to manage and no one is in the wrong for having these thoughts,” Ackerman says. “It’s just a signal to get support. So by being available for that tough conversation, you’re letting them know that you’re a safe person to talk to.”
Is Your Teen Struggling with Depression or In Crisis?
Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s Center for Suicide Prevention and Research provides warning signs for youth that may be struggling with depression.
- Feeling sad or irritable more often than not
- Sleeping or eating more or less than usual
- Showing little to no interest in pleasurable activities
- Withdrawing from others
- Participating in reckless behavior that is out of character
- Engaging in self-injurious behavior
- Having trouble concentrating or performing poorly in school
- Complaining frequently about physical symptoms (e.g., fatigue, stomachaches, headaches)
- Increasing use of alcohol or drugs.
They also suggest making sure your child should have a list of trusted adults to contact for when they are in crisis. Keep crisis hotline and text line numbers in easy to find places (e.g., phone, refrigerator). Prompt your child to practice coping skills.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, contact (call, text, chat) the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or con- tact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741. Trained crisis counselors are standing by to help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.