Have you ever wondered why toddlers ask so many questions? At times, do you find yourself starting to get frustrated with the rapid pace of their questions? If so, don’t worry. You are not alone. It turns out that asking a lot of questions is a normal part of a toddler’s development.
Dr. Tatiana Wells, program director for early childhood education at Cuyahoga Community College and author of “Live Like a Toddler: Be the Young Explorer of Your Life,” describes toddlers as “young explorers.”
“If you think of the history of the great explorers traveling the seas to explore the world, their quest is driven to answer a why question. A toddler is similar,” she says. “A toddler exploring their world has no previous knowledge to answer those questions and the only person to ask what is next or what’s missing in the explanation is the parent. So the parent will get those ‘why’ questions.”
Dr. Kate Eshleman, pediatric psychologist at Cleveland Clinic Children’s, explains that the toddler stage is the first time that they have the words or the ability to ask the questions.
“Toddlers want to know how things work so they ask questions to learn about their structure, routine, life, and environment,” she says. “This is how they learn about the world around them. So they ask a lot of who, what, when, why, and how questions because those are the things that they encounter in their life.”
During the toddler stage, children become more verbal and are able to do more. As a parent you probably even hear the word “no” as you try to answer or help your toddler. Wells says common questions at this stage are centered around, “can you help me” or “how does something work.” Although toddlers are now practicing how to do things on their own, they still need your help.
She says if a child is nonverbal or has issues with their speech, the parent is likely to see temper tantrums because the child doesn’t have words to articulate their questions. These parents can help their child by teaching them how to use sign language or point to help articulate the question so the parent can answer it.
How can parents answer their toddler’s common questions?
Eshleman recommends parents answer their toddler’s questions by telling the truth in a developmentally appropriate way. This means explaining it to the toddler in pretty simple terms or terms that match their child’s understanding or ability to grasp that information. If parents don’t know the answer to the question,
She says parents should say if they don’t know and then use that as an opportunity to look up the answer and learn together.
Wells suggests asking the toddler questions before the toddler has a chance to ask you. For example, at breakfast you can ask your child: “Do you know where orange juice comes from? From oranges! How do you make grape juice? From grapes!”
“This helps to build the toddler’s vocabulary,” Wells says. “It also creates dual communication where the child is both receiving information and sharing information.”
How can parents stay calm when a toddler keeps asking questions?
Adopting the right mindset around toddler questions is important for a parent.
“Keep in mind why toddlers are asking questions,” Eshleman says. “They’re not doing it to bother you. They’re not doing it to get under your skin. They’re doing it because they want to learn and understand.”
If you find yourself starting to get frustrated because you have a lot going on or your patience is wearing thin, try deep breathing to try to remain calm and patient.
Eshleman also recommends parents put some structure around the questions, by allowing the child to ask three questions and then taking a break.
Or, if you’re unable to address the questions you can promise to answer them later. For example, “I need to help Jack with his homework, but at dinner we’ll talk about this.” You can also provide structure by encouraging your child to ask questions during the car ride.
Wells adds parents can incorporate the questions within the toddlers routine. This way answering the question is done within the flow of the day instead of taking additional time.
“Toddlers are always looking for what happens next and they thrive on routine. When you give them a routine it eliminates some of the questions they have,” she says.
Encourage questions within your existing routine by asking your toddler questions like, “What do you think we are going to do first? What is next? What are we going to have for breakfast? Which one do you like?” Wells encourages parents to not stifle toddlers from asking questions and ask questions that allow them to have some autonomy over their day.
It may seem unimportant to respond to those questions, but Wells shares that it means the world to toddlers to be able to ask those questions and have their questions answered. Responding to toddler questions with “don’t worry about it” or “don’t ask me any questions” can even impede their learning process at school. Wells says that instead of being creative and inquisitive toddlers begin to start to accept what happens and not think outside of the box. This is why it’s important to create a space and environment for toddlers to ask questions and have those questions answered.
