The Spectrum of Parenting
Jamie Lozier of Akron and her husband always knew they wanted a big family. They had two children, but wanted more. However, due to medical reasons, they were unable to expand naturally, instead, it was the beginning of a journey where they opened their hearts to foster and adopt.
In fact, it’s somewhat of a family tradition for Lozier, as some members of her immediate family were adopted.
However, it wasn’t until one of her sons started asking questions regarding more siblings, specifically a sister. The couple, who were already thinking of adoption, decided to start the process.
“We started classes through Summit County Children Services to become licensed foster parents because we decided that we wanted to help the kids that needed it the most,” Lozier says.
Currently, they have seven children in their household (including their two biological sons), six boys and one girl, ranging in ages three to 17.
As foster parents, other children have stayed at their home and were later reunited with parents or family members.
“The goal of fostering is always reunification,” Lozier says. “But, when the kids leave, it’s emotional. My boys consider every single child that’s been in our home, their siblings. We still have their pictures on our walls and we still have contact with some of them. We just tried to keep in mind that the reason that those kids didn’t stay is because somebody else needs us more.”
The Loziers were not afraid to take in sibling groups who were looking for placement.
“I come from a big family and my husband is very close with his siblings so I think that’s just always a relationship that’s been important to me,” Lozier says. “I’m one of four children so when we were those kids, we always did everything together. I want to see that for my children and I see that for the kids that come into our care. I just always want them to have that experience. Your siblings are your first friends.”
As this article was being written, the Loziers’ celebrated their adoption day with two of the children, two siblings, ages three and five.
The decision to move forward with placements is a family decision.
“We’ve definitely kept our kids all included in any of the decisions we make regarding placement,” she says. “We always talk about it together as a family first to make sure everybody’s on board because it does definitely impact and change all of our lives whenever a new placement comes in or out.”
She advises parents looking into foster and adoption to just make the decision that’s right for you and your family.
“It definitely feels like a jump off the deep end,” she says. “You go into the classes and you read the rules and you watch the videos and the training. It’s a hard, not easy, a long process and invasive. There’s definitely an emotional aspect of it. It’s one of the hardest and most beautiful things we’ve ever done.”
She says some of the challenges that there’s stigma to fostering.
“Unfortunately, the worst stories are the ones we all see on the news and that’s how we base our opinions on things,” she says. “So, I’ve actually had people, like, stop me in public and be like, you don’t look like a foster parent when they see my kids. And I’m like, how am I supposed to look?”
The family does get a lot of support from family and other families in the adoption community.
“Children need more people to love them, not less,” she says. “So, we definitely try to not make them choose between us and their biological families. We’ve kind of adopted a whole bunch of people into our family. We’ve been able to expand relationships with people from the biological families of all of our children. We’ve had a unique perspective in that we’ve become parents in almost every way possible. Through biological, foster, adoption and legal custody. The story of how you got here just makes it more beautiful and more special, more yours.”
Changing Lives From Abroad
Stephanie Bever and Justin Campbell knew international adoption was something they wanted to pursue. Not only children from other countries pulled at their heartstrings, but Bever says it’s an opportunity to give them a chance to have a life in a loving home. A place that also includes modern medical treatment.
“It’s little things like that that we take for granted, that we have here in the U.S. and most of us have access to,” she says.
The process of adoption isn’t easy, whether you are looking to adopt domestically or internationally.
“Only certain adoption agencies do international adoption,” Bever says. We picked the agency (and) once we did that, it was a whole plethora of paperwork. I mean, everything from every address you’ve ever lived at your entire life. They do a deep dive into your life.”
This also included a home study from Bellefaire JCB, an adoption agency in Shaker Heights.
Campbell looked through the agency’s website and let them know they were interested in a boy, Bodhi, from Bulgaria, who was on a waiting list to be adopted.
“We officially went to meet him for the first time in December of 2022,” Bever says, adding the flight to and from was rough with lost luggage and long layovers. However, when they met Bodhi, it was amazing.
“We decided, yes, we’re moving forward,” she says. “The formal adoption was completed in Bulgaria and in March of 2023 we brought him back.”
Bodhi, 8, who was diagnosed with autism and ADHD, did not speak English, but soon learned how to adapt to his new surroundings, but it wasn’t easy.
Bever says the first months were challenging, but with the help of special therapies, it’s been much better.
“He is pretty much speaking 100% English, in the regular school system and has an IEP,” Bever says. “The school does fantastic with him. He’s just a sweet guy.”
Bodhi also connected with Bever’s three biological children.
“We did a lot of Zoom calls and with him, his foster mom and the adoption agency and always made sure my biological children were included on those calls,” Bever says.
The family has also embraced Bodhi’s Bulgarian culture with holiday celebrations and even including his class.
Bever says there’s a holiday in March called Baba Marta Day, which marks the beginning of spring and end of winter where there’s an exchange of exchange martenitsi, which are decorave pieces of red and white yarn that symbolize health and happiness.
“We actually bought a book that explained that holiday and bought the little red bracelets for his entire classroom at school,” she says. “The teacher was so kind to have a day where they educated his class on his culture.”
She advises parents who are interested in adoption to be realistic about what your household can handle.
“It’s knowing that first year is going to be rough, you are going to have moments where you second guess what you did, (and if or) can you really do this,” Bever says. “But, know it gets better. It becomes so rewarding and I think for us, it’s been a blessing. I mean, we still have our moments where we have some regression. It’s not going to be easy ever. You’ll have setbacks and delays and all of that. Knowing that you have a good support system around you is important. It doesn’t matter whether you adopt internationally or domestically, you’re never going to adopt a perfect child.“