With school being out for the summer, parents and kids have to find a new daily routine. While structured activities from camps, play dates and other family programs are an opportunity to keep kids busy, there’s also room to teach kids how to self-manage their time. However, helping to foster independence can be difficult.
The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health asked parents who have children from ages 5-11 about promoting their child’s independence. According to the study, while most want to have their child do things themselves, fewer parents report their children do. Most of the top reasons given were safety concerns, maturity — child isn’t ready — or they might cause trouble. Some parents with children in the 5-8 age group noted kids don’t want to do things for themselves or the task would take too long.
“There are a lot of good reasons for children to be independent. Some of the benefits of promoting independence are an increase in their creativity, problem solving and social skills. If they have siblings, they can improve their teamwork skills as well,” says Dr. Zizzy Bucchieri, pediatrician at the Akron Children’s Beachwood office.
Summer is a great time to plan for unstructured play and help encourage kids to be independent.
“The idea behind unstructured play is that there is not a specific game or activity that has a prescribed way of doing it,” Bucchieri says.
She notes for parents who have infants, their kids can start learning this early by letting them have quiet playtime on a mat while you are in the same room.
“You’re letting them look around and explore and try to reach for a toy,” she says. “As the children get older and they’re toddlers, you can create what we call a “Yes” space. This is a place that does not have sharp edges, or things they could grab and break or objects they could climb up on and fall. In this space you won’t have say, ‘no, stop, don’t.’ They can touch it, they can put it in their mouth, they can explore it. You can have simple toys, like wooden blocks, dolls and some pretend playthings like a pretend kitchen. You remain in the room with them because they’re toddlers and can’t be left alone but you are not telling them what to do, you are just watching them.”
She notes children of appropriate ages can also help with household chores such as sorting socks or using a sweeper
Bucchieri suggests you teach your children about nutrition and encourage independence by giving them options to fill their own plates with different food groups. They can prepare a salad; they can cut up cucumbers and peppers or make a sandwich like a peanut butter and jelly or a turkey sandwich. A lot of kids also like hummus and veggies.
To facilitate healthy eating, her recommendation is to have bins in the refrigerator with the different food groups where kids can choose one thing from each bin and then that makes for a varied and balanced lunch.
Other times to let kids do it their own way could be when they are getting dressed and in supervised safe play areas.
“For example, in a fenced in backyard they can just explore and play and get dirty. Let them step in the puddles, collect sticks and bugs, leaves and plants — and check everything out,” she says. “It’s not going to be done as you would do it and you have to be willing to let go of perfection and just be happy that they did it.”
“Just go with it sometimes,” she adds. “They may make their lunch and it looks ridiculous, but it has all the food groups. They may get dressed on their own and nothing matches or even fits. If people see your kid in a crazy outfit, they are going to know that you did not pick that outfit. Enjoy your child’s creativity and complement their independent time and you will watch them take more responsibility, make decisions and ultimately grow in confidence.”
