Social media is a big part of teenagers’ lives today. As more social networks come on to the scene, it’s important for all of us to learn how to use it in a healthy way. Michelle Kestenbaum, mom of a sixth grader and Philip Cranmer, a mental health therapist in Kent, spoke with us to share how teens can have a good relationship with social media.
A 2024 study published by the JAMA Pediatrics Network found that excessive social media use is associated with increased risk of mental health issues in teenagers, revealing that adolescents who spent more than three hours daily on social media platforms were at a significantly higher risk of experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Both Kestenbaum and Cranmer say it’s not about avoiding social media completely.
“We shouldn’t say social media is all bad,” Kestenbaum says. “Instead, we should teach our kids to use it carefully and in a positive way.”
Starting to Make a Change
Kestenbaum, like many parents, initially struggled to find the right balance between allowing her child to engage with social media and protecting them from negative content. The family experimented with finding ways to limit and monitor social media use, but it often left them feeling overwhelmed.
She participated in “Her Story Mentorship’s #ForMe Social Media Workshop” through her child’s school, which proved to be a turning point for Kestenbaum and her family.
The program provided them with helpful information and tools to manage their social media use more effectively. Kestenbaum found the workshop’s focus on self-reflection and mindful engagement particularly eye-opening. It helped her family better understand how social media can affect their mental health and relationships.
Spotting Signs of Social Media Addiction
It’s important for both parents and teens to know the signs of social media addiction. Cranmer says not being able to stop using social media, spending too much time on it, using it at the wrong times (like during school), and using it even when it causes problems are all signs of a potential case of addiction.
If someone is having trouble with social media, Cranmer says it’s important to get help.
“No one should have to deal with this alone,” he says. He suggests changing the people you hang out with, the places you go, and the things you do if they’re linked to too much social media use.
Kestenbaum agrees and thinks teens should help make the rules for using social media. This helps them understand why the rules are important.
“We should create an environment where teens feel they can make healthy choices about their digital lives,” she says.
Practicing Healthy Social Media Use
Kestenbaum said one example that Her Story teaches is to be mindful of what you see on social media. Here are some of her practical tips, derived from her experience with the Her Story program and as a parent, for helping teens use social media properly and in a positive way:
Have them set time limits: Use apps or alarms to monitor and limit daily social media usage.
Review of Feeds: They can take the time to review who they follow and unfollow accounts that don’t contribute positively to their online experience.
Talk to them about practicing mindful engagement: Instead of scrolling just to scroll, actively engage with content that interests them.
Have them take regular digital detoxes: They can schedule time where they completely disconnect from social media to recharge and refocus.
Having Open Conversations and Setting Rules
Cranmer says it’s important for parents and teens to talk openly.
“Teens should feel okay telling their parents about what they see online,” Cranmer says. “This helps parents teach their kids about the online world.”
Learning to think critically about what you see on social media is also important. Cranmer suggests teens ask themselves questions like: “Is this safe? Is this educational? Does this feel right?” By thinking about these questions, teens can make better choices about what they look at online.
Cranmer also advises parents to have clear rules about how long and how often teens can use social media, and what kind of content they can look at. This helps prevent using social media too much and allows time for other activities.
“Parents should also provide guidance on appropriate content. For example, educational content, positive influencers, or hobby-related pages can be encouraged, while limiting exposure to potentially harmful or inappropriate material,” Cranmer says.
He also suggests that parents encourage the following of mental health resources, allowing teens to develop a healthier relationship with social media while still allowing them to stay connected in the digital world.
“We want our kids to know how to use technology, but not if it hurts their mental health or takes away from real-life experiences,” Kestenbaum says.
Being a Good Example
It’s important for parents and their children to work together on digital wellness. This means learning about how social media affects us, talking openly about online experiences, and adults setting a good example with their own social media use.
“We need to show good habits. If we’re always on our phones, we can’t expect our kids to act differently,” Kestenbaum says.
Using social media in a healthy way involves learning, talking, and getting support. Keeping communication open allows parents, teachers, and teens the opportunity to work together to use social media responsibly and stay healthy in the digital age.
“It’s not about saying social media is bad, but about learning to use it in a way that makes our lives better, not worse,” Cranmer says.
For more information about Her Story, visit Click here to learn more about the Her Story’s mentorship program, Take a look at the 2023 #ForMe Workshop video here, yourstorymentorship.com/workshop
